oSaC || The Flights on a Dark Night

Flightpaw

Flightpaw shuddered as he sat outside of his and Mintpaw's den, the air slightly colder than usual because of how early it was in the day and the clouds covering the sky once again. The little tom had already been sitting outside for about half an hour, trying in vain to calm his mind after a nightmare he'd had, one that he'd rather not revisit in his sleep or thoughts any time soon.

He turned his head to look inside their den again when he heard rustling, assuming that it was Mintpaw moving around or waking up inside, but when everything was the same as always he turned his head back, gulping down the anxiety he felt as the scar on his neck began to itch again. He ignored it for now, knowing that scratching it would only irritate him more. This sucks... First I have a bad attitude, then I can't sleep even when I want to, and now I'm having nightmares and can't even be comfortable for five minutes! the apprentice shouted in his head, teeth clenching as his claws unconsciously began to dig into the earth. When he noticed his paws were shaking from the grip, he stopped and forced himself to relax, guiltily running his eyes over the scenery around him to see if anyone was awake, and if they were, had seen him freaking out once again. If I keep this up, I'll definitely be the first one in the Pits... Even without asking.


Hopflight

Hopflight had been doing quiet rounds for the past hour. It was during the wee hours in the morning, before the first traces of light were able to reach through the clouds and mark the sunrise. Nights were dark after the Calamity, for the clouds blocked out the light of the moon and the stars. It was difficult for Hopflight to see where he was going, even with his feline eyes that allowed him to collect traces of light to find his path.

He remembered the long nights when he had been alone in the Ashen world, right after everything had been destroyed in the Calamity. The ash was even thicker outside the walls than within, so everything had indeed been pitch black. He remembered frantically scrambling around during many sunsets, trying to find a tiny, safe niche where he could tuck himself in, curl up, and wait for morning. Those had been the darkest days he had ever known. This was dark, but not nearly as dark in comparison. The individuals sleeping and stirring were his comrades, his allies, and not monsters who thirsted for his blood.

At least, they had not been a few days ago.

The nights in Safe Haven seemed darker now, broken occasionally with the sounds of fighting, screams, and restless awakenings. He could not sleep easily through it, even tucked away in the Roost where likely no one would come to fight. So he patrolled the lonely nights, pulling attackers off of victims when needed, trying not to delve too deeply into the minds of those around him. For he had done that once before, and he had nearly been lost to the darkness from all sides.

He took another route through the living area of Safe Haven, towards the den that he knew was shared by two of the Seeker apprentices. He would just quickly check up on them, and make sure that they were both alright. Flightpaw, after all, was touched by darkness, if he remembered right. It would be good to peek in and see them both sleeping, rather than Flightpaw attacking Mint.


Flightpaw

Flightpaw was once again settled in place by the time Hopflight began coming his direction, tired eyes blinking closed slowly only to be opened wide again by the stubborn apprentice, the dark blue that they were even duller now from the severe lack of sleep. His irises seemed almost pure black now in the dark light and his ears flicked occasionally at sounds in the distance of Safe Haven, most likely another scrabble between two cats with high tempers or no remaining sense in them. To his surprise, the sounds died down rather quickly, letting him hope that whoever had been fighting were in their right minds again.

He was startled at the sound of pawsteps though, every hair on his back rising as his eyes grew wide and he threw himself onto his paws, ready to defend himself. It was just a bit too dark for him to see more than 10 feet in front of himself and though he could easily smell that someone he knew was coming closer, he couldn't quite make out who in his panic. Knowing who was coming might not even help, anyways, seeing as everyone here smelled like an ally, even in the others' darkest moments. For all he knew, it could be a fully grown Vanguard on the prowl, a cat that could easily rip him to shreds due to his lack of physical training and below-normal energy.

At the thought, his fur bristled more, his nub of a tail twitching frantically as he considered running or waking Mintpaw up to help him.  His legs almost gave out under him at the relief he felt to see Hopflight's silhouette standing in front of him. His fur began to lay flat again and he looked up to meet his superior's eyes, his own still wide and dark as he expected the peace around them to be broken any minute. "H-Hello sir… You're up very early," he pointed out weakly, his voice almost a whisper before he cleared his throat and repeated himself.


Hopflight

Hopflight was surprised to pick up the trace of fear-scent that wafted in his direction as he approached. At first he was worried, picking up his pace to go more urgently to Flight and Mint's den, wondering if something was horribly wrong. But he slowed and stopped as he came closer, realizing that it was fading, and he was coming face-to-face with a very tired looking Flightpaw. Of course, he realized, any sane cat would be terrified of hearing someone prowling around in the dark at this hour. What a shame it was, that they could no longer feel safe within Haven.

I need to get to the bottom of this.

"And you're up rather late, young Braveheart!" he said chipperly. "Have you slept at all?" It was a habit that many of the darklings and dark-touched that he'd noticed recently. Not sleeping, staying up for long hours because they were afraid of the dreams, or of the monster that would wake up inside of them. It really was making a lot of cats deteriorate quickly. It was getting harder and harder to send out patrols and assign tasks to Warriors—it was all anyone could do just to have the energy to walk around Safe Haven.


Flightpaw

Flightpaw relaxed further at the familiar tone in Hopflight's voice, the chirp and nickname that he let out letting him know that things were alright for now. The apprentice hoped things would stay that way, at least until it began to get brighter outside. Fighting something they couldn't control was one thing, but having to fight something you can barely see, as well, just sounded like an impossible task for all of them.

The Seeker-to-be drifted closer to his superior before sitting by the tom's paws, giving him a tired smile as he thought of how to answer him. "Well, I have... a little, at least." he admitted after a moment, glancing towards his den once to check on Mintpaw's still sleeping form. Nothing out of the ordinary, even to his eyes. The grey and brown tom blinked twice to double check that nothing would suddenly jump into, or out of, his vision like things had begun to do lately.

Just yesterday he could have sworn that there was something following him around Haven because every once in a while, when he moved his eyes to the sides, something would appear to shift in the opposite direction. When he'd asked a Crafter nearby about it, they told him he'd been alone for most of the day. The apprentice looked back up at Hopflight, ears pinning slightly as he hoped the tom hadn't picked up on his thoughts, or at least not the full extent of them. "Sir, were you out patrolling again?" he finally asked, a touch of concern in his voice as he tried to examine Hopflight's face in the limited light. I'm not the only one who needs sleep, ya know?


Hopflight

Hopflight grinned at his question, there were clearly tired circles under his eyes. He hadn't gotten a very good night's sleep in a while, and he was essentially sleeping the minimum amount he needed to keep his body functioning. He was making sure to eat well so he didn't completely waste away, ensuring he still had energy. But sleeping when he should be working, monitoring, patrolling... it felt wrong. "You bet I am!" he said. "Don't you worry, little Brave, I'm taking mildly good care of myself. I won't be of any use when I find a problem on my patrols and I'm too tired to deal with it."

His voice was rising a little bit, and he glanced back into the den, remembering that Mint was asleep. He sat down next to Flightpaw, curling his short tail over his paws, and sighed. "How are you holding up? And be straight with me. It's good for a Monarch to know these things."


Flightpaw

Flightpaw nodded lightly at his superior, a bit worried that he was still up patrolling but not commenting on it further. He couldn't go a single night without a nightmare of some kind plaguing him and was constantly staying up anyways, so really he had no right to tell someone wiser than him that they shouldn't push themselves.

The grey and brown tom's ears perked when Hopflight sat beside him, the elder's tail brushing him as it swept into place. Flightpaw followed the other's gaze for a second before smiling and up at him again. "Don't worry, Mint can sleep like a log sometimes." he assured, feeling a slight spark of jealousy at the thought of Mint getting a full night sleep. 'Course, his dreams might not be very good either, he told himself, to get rid of the feeling.

At Hop's question, he didn't know to feel though. He opened his mouth to respond with 'Im fine, dont worry about it' or something similar, but stopped himself as his superior continued. He'd asked him to be honest, so he the little tom would feel bad if he randomly told a lie, even if it was to calm the other down. His ears pinned down slightly as he tried to think of what to say instead, mouth opening and closing as he tried to find the words. "I- uh… I mean I'm not… the worst… I just…” Flightpaw stumbled, some words falling out before he could catch them and some being intentionally started until he gave up trying to think of what to say formally.

The beauty, he thought, of other cats was that he sometimes didn't have to say anything for them understand. A flick of the ear, the tail, him looking away somewhere else, there was a lot of things being said by that alone, making words not needed, especially for those with powers in Physic class. So, instead of continuing to stumble over his words and harass himself, Flightpaw scooted closer to his superior until their sides were touching before leaning into the tom's fluffy pelt, finding comfort there despite how ridiculous he must look being so tiny in comparison to the Monarch, even if he had grown since they last spoke.

And instead of using his words, which would normally limit himself, he just started thinking of all the things he felt were wrong, letting Hop decide whether or not to enter his mind. I'm not fine, but I'm still okay. Everything's scary but still nothing's wrong. I keep seeing things and thinking I'm seeing things, when really I'm probably just tired, but that's still scary too. And I keep getting more tired because of the things I see in my sleep. Everyone's going insane and hurting each other, and some of them are going insane and hurting themselves and I can't understand why. And I don't want that to be me either, but I don't want help but I really think I need it… I'm sorry, he finished, not lifting his head away from the other's side as his thoughts slowed down again, letting his mind and body breathe as he waited for a response.


Hopflight

Hopflight hesitated, but understood what Flightpaw wanted as soon as the little apprentice pressed close to him. Hopflight easily opened himself to Flight's mind, picking up the thoughts that the little Braveheart was allowing him to see. It was much easier to read thoughts when they were so open, and what Hopflight saw there nearly broke his heart. Flightpaw was being so brave through this troubled time. He was sticking with his gut, sticking close to his friends to watch over them while he struggled alone against the darkness. He was likely scared stiff of what he might turn into.

"Aw little Braveheart!" The Monarch pulled Flightpaw close, slinging a paw over his shoulders. "You're breaking my heart here, buddy! There's nothing wrong with looking for some help, even a little bit. Have you considered going to Nicholas? Even a few sessions might be enough to give you a little bit of strength to fight. I went to him and I feel like I can... function again."

The first few days of the darkness had been hard for Hop. His temper had been frayed, his head had ached, and it was so, so difficult to deal with how hopeless the situation was. But Nicholas had talked him through some of his worries, and the light had soothed the sickness of auma.


Flightpaw

The apprentice let out a tiny smile as he was pulled closer to the other tom, the warmth coming off of him being comforting, especially in the chilly nighttime. He felt a small bit of his worries melt away at the kindness as well, lifting his head to look at his superior while he was spoken to. His smile didn't go away as Hop suggested seeing Nicholas, but it also didn't get bigger.

"I have plenty of strength left to fight, sir. I'm doing it right now. But I don't think I'll gain any more strength from talking with him…" Flightpaw began, confident in his voice, even if it was still weak. "It's not that I don't like what he's doing, it's helping a lot of cats including you, so I know it works but… I don't want to take that kind of treatment. I don't… want to see whatever memories I lost before I was an Ashen. Not with someone else's help," the Seeker-to-be admitted slowly, the smile finally slipping a little before it came back again, this time brighter. "I've helped myself a little. Laying on Heaven's Eye makes me feel better, and so does doing something productive, like hunting… I tried singing a little to help too, but I don't think I sound very good." Flightpaw shrugged a little as he snuggled himself into Hopflight's side once again.

"I know doing that won't help me enough by itself though, and I can't stand the thought of going near Skinner. She's evil, I'm sorry if it bothers you for me to say that. But I do need to do something so I don't end up hurting Mintpaw and Pebblepaw, or scaring Rainheart. So... I was going to ask you the next chance I got for permission to stay in the Pits. I don't know who else to ask about it."


Hopflight

"Evil?" Hopflight shifted his paws slightly. It always made him uncomfortable to hear cats say that, as though it should be obvious, as though something should be done about it. He had asked the cats to cast their votes to decide whether the Skinner and her Gang would stay or go, and they had voted to give her a chance. It didn't seem fair that they were "giving her a chance" but still calling her undeniably evil. Hop was optimistic, even though in the back of his mind, he knew that the Skinner was going to be trouble. He knew that she was going to be up to no good, and that she might be the creator of the darkness. But they didn't have any proof, and technically she'd done nothing wrong.

"I think ‘evil's’ a little harsh," he said finally. "They've really done nothing wrong since they've been here. They've all performed their duties. I don't know what happens during the Way's secret meetings, but it hasn't done anything to negatively affect Safe Haven. I wouldn't call it evil until she... does... something…"

He could hear how pathetic and desperately optimistic he sounded. His ears drooped slightly. "I'll find a place for you in the Pits, little Braveheart. Hopefully we'll find a solution that doesn't have to involve you... regaining your memories." He couldn't see why regaining memories would be a bad thing. "Are you afraid of what Nicholas might reveal?"


Flightpaw

Flightpaw looked up at the tom again when he began to ponder the ominous she-cat, feeling slightly bad when Hop looked uncomfortable. It wasn't his goal to make the tom feel bad, it would never be his goal, but he did think Hopflight had the right to know what he felt about her. He was their leader and he had done a very mature decision before on allowing everyone else to make the final call on who could stay or go. In a nutshell it was pretty fair, but after they had been allowed to stay… It was even more unfair for anyone to expect their feelings to change suddenly, like someone simply doing what they were asked to was anything that could prove a cat's worth.

When the tom continued to tell him about her doing nothing wrong since they arrived, the little apprentice decided to keep his thoughts to himself, not wanting his pessimism to put the other in a bad mood or discourage him. Right now, it seemed that all of them needed to at least try and look on any bright side there was, and when Flightpaw noticed his superior's drooping ears, he stayed close, giving him a small hug.

"Thank you, sir. I'll try my best to get better while I'm down there." he promised, looking down again when questioned. He hadn't expected anyone to ask about why he didn't want to see Nicholas, even though it was definitely something to ask about lately, and Flightpaw tried to work out how he should answer. He wasn't scared, at least not immediately, but he wasn't very keen on remembering certain things either. He had his own questions about himself that could very easily be answered by whatever Lightbringer showed to him through the treatment, but… that didn't mean he was anymore open to looking at the answers presented to him with a smile. Especially if what he saw wasn't what he wanted to see.

He suppressed a shudder as he imagined all of the things his memories could hold, all of the things he might be blissfully ignorant of. "Yeah, I guess you could say I'm scared…" he finally admitted. “I only have one question I need an answer to, and the only way I can get an answer is by looking through my memories but... I don't know how I'd handle it if I end up getting the answer I don't like. So, I'd much rather get my memories back whenever they happen to wake up again, if they ever do."


Hopflight

Hopflight looked just a little crestfallen when Flightpaw shared his reasoning. It was something that Hopflight could understand... after all, if he was told he'd had another life before the one he was born into in TidalClan, he would have been hesitant about recovering those memories, too. His life in the present was what mattered. But... Nicholas' treatment was the cure for this darkness. There were many cats who had yet to see it as such, and Hopflight was afraid that those cats would waste away. If Flightpaw was one of them, it would break Hop's heart. He loved the serious, quiet little fellow.

But Hopflight also knew that he had to let the members of Safe Haven make their own decisions. He would just have to help them as well as he could.

"I understand," he said. "But Flightpaw, you shouldn't go to the Pits thinking they will help you get better. The Pits aren't a cure, just a place for those who are suffering to suffer without hurting others. Having the chance to go insane might clear your head for a while, but this is not a solution that will work long-term.

"If you ever change your mind, go to Nicholas. He doesn't see the memories he gives back to you, as far as I know, so they can still remain private. I don't know if you'll ever get the chance to revive your memories on your own, but I don't think it is something that will just decide to come to you. You should search for your answers or accept that you are never going to get them. I understand your fears, but Safe Haven needs its members at their best right now." He shivered slightly, imagining what would happen if there was a massive attack when they were in this state, or if the creator of the darkness began to rear its ugly head. So many had refused treatment and gone to the Pits. At their current power, Hopflight didn't know if they could face a grand enemy.


Flightpaw

Flightpaw sat in silence for a few moments as he took in his superior's wise words, eyes trained on his paws as he was reminded, by someone other than himself for once, that he was avoiding the inevitable answer to his problems, as well as the best answer to them.

He knew quite well that the Pits weren't exactly the best place to be while recovering ones sanity; he had taken it upon himself just the other day to peek inside the personal prisons and see what they were like first before telling anyone of his decision to stay there, just to see what he would be living in, and from what he saw it was just like Hopflight made it out to be. Not a place for sane cats. Or good cats. Or particularly liked cats. It was a place definitely constructed for loonies and murderers, and while Flightpaw wondered just how often they would ever have to use them after all of this mess was over, it was exactly the place where cats like the one he was going to become should be kept.

He knew that he would have to find something better for himself than a deep, dark hole to sleep in for this to be fixed, but he just couldn't bring himself to see another cat yet. And until he could, despite the guilt growing inside of him over his worries about Safe Haven and everyone in it, Flightpaw had made the decision for himself that he thought was best: getting rid of his primary fear, the fear of hurting ones around him. Taking care of that fear, at least, let him feel like he could keep himself under control for a lot longer, long enough for him to try and convince himself to do something better.

As Hopflight finished speaking to him, he raised his head again, the guilt coursing through him dwindling as his eyes moved to catch the other tom's. He'd even smiled a bit as the other noted how they had to be as okay as possible right now. "I promise that I'll get the help I need, sir, thank you for your concern. But you don't need to tell me to be at my best right now. Really… I may just be an apprentice, a Seeker apprentice at that, but I'd much sooner die than let anything inside Safe Haven fall without giving everything I had to stop it," the little tom vowed, his eyes sparkling again for what was the first time in weeks.


Hopflight

Hopflight smiled a little bit. Cats like Flightpaw were the reason that Safe Haven could still run. There was a sad sort of irony to it, though. Littlestep and Flightpaw were both refusing treatment, wishing to stick it out for themselves and find a way to overcome the darkness on their own. They were good cats, and still looked out for others despite how badly they were being affected. But the best cats were going to be the ones hit most heavily by this. They would be the ones staying up at night and going mad. It just came with the package.

Hopflight wondered for a brief moment whether he shouldn't have taken any sort of treatment. Would he be a better cat if he'd nobly refused and allowed others to go before him? Probably, even though Nicholas had said it was important for those who were not affected as much to quickly gain complete recoveries. But Hop didn't really do anything just to be noble. He wasn't going to live with the darkness, and he had a way out of it that was actually pretty good. Good for him, at least. He wasn't going to not take it.

"I just worry about you, little guy," he says. "Let me know if you need anything, alright? We'll all get through this."

We'll all get through this.